Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My New Best Friend.....





Yikes, what am I doing posting on this meme? Isn't this filled with women who are sophisticated writers and have an amazing testimony to share? Who am I to join the ranks of those who know how to write so eloquently? But I want to join in. I want to share and be a part of the blessings that God bestows on those who step out in faith for Him. So, please forgive me if this post doesn't "measure up" to some, I am taking baby steps here!

It was the "alone" part of the quote above that spoke to my heart. I have spent most of my life avoiding being alone (probably why I ended up with 7 kids, lol). The idea of being alone has always made me feel sad, lonely and rejected. My self worth came from how many friends I have or who I was surrounded by. There are times I made very poor choices in company because it was better than being alone.

As I have said before, my Dad left home when I was young, my Mom was not always available and my younger sister and I were never close. Perhaps this is why I have spent a lifetime seeking companionship. To fill a void leftover from childhood. Or maybe it is simply because I am a sanguine personality and love to be around people. Whatever the case, my philosophy has always been "the more the merrier."

This is not always God's philosophy however. He calls me to "be still and know that HE is God." He can reach and fill the parts of my soul that no one else can even see. Not even me. So as I found myself in relationships that were unhealthy and potentially harmful, God removed me from them. Sometimes this was very painful and I did not understand.
I searched for so long to find a "Best Friend". I thought I had found that person several times, first it was my mom, then my husband and finally several different girlfriends. The problem was that all of these people are human. They could talk with me, pray with me, cry with me, give me advice......but none of them could be the missing piece of the puzzle that was me. None could answer my questions: "Who am I? Am I worthy? What is my purpose?" They were kind, they listened and they said encouraging words but they couldn't give me answers because they didn't know the answers.
Only God could give me those answers and He was waiting patiently for me to discover that "Jesus is my Best Friend." Once I was able to figure that out I have never had to be alone again. He was just waiting to surround me with church family, friends and prayer partners but Jesus had to come first.
It is funny and probably appropriate that it was through a party and a girlfriend that God revealed a new direction and purpose for my life. One night at Bunco she invited me to a CBS bible study. She is very shy and told me she had never invited anyone before. She had to quit the study because of a new job so I went alone......

3 years later I am the Associate Teaching Director and acting Prayer Chairman of that same CBS study. I have made dear friends there, I have invited and brought other friends. I have gotten to know God and see Him work in ways I could never have imagined and I am able to share that with everyone I meet! I am doing things I would NEVER have thought possible! All of this because I found a "best friend" in Jesus and I long for time spent alone with Him!

Please don't miss the wonderful testimonies and thoughts that are being shared at the In Other Words meme today. Visit Michelle at Because I Love You.


14 comments:

Shari said...

I sure hope we don't have to be real writers to do this meme. It's my first time doing this one and I'm so glad that I joined in. I'm glad that you did, too. It's neat reading about how Jesus became your best friend - sounds like you are putting Him first.

luvmy4sons said...

You did a wonderful job! I have to say that it has been over time that Jesus has shown me in very real and painful ways that He is the One I can count on, that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I had a hard time imagining that I could ever live without hubby or my children...and I never want to! Yet, I have come to understand that Jesus is my all in all. He has made me see through fiery trials that He and He alone should be the most important and best friend I have and that truly He is the only one who can meet all my needs. I loved your post. Tell me more about this meme. I don't usually partake in weekly meme's letting my posts be about what is on my heart at the time...I might like this one!

lori said...

Look at you!!! First timer....blowing us away!! I would certainly not call myself a "real" writer...sometimes I read what I post and think...does THAT even make sense??

I found myself saying..."hey, me too" when I read your post...I tried so hard to "surround" myself with people...only to find in the midst of infertiltiy that NO ONE I knew (even my husband) couldn't fill the void...only God could...and HE knew I needed to learn to "lean in..."

I'm SOOOOOOO excited that you posted...these quotes are sometimes that I feel like I really, really THINK some weeks! It's so incredible to read what other ladies feel in their hearts...and ALWAYS, ALWAYS I am blessed!!!

yea for you jumping in....
same time next week!!;)

wonderful blessing!
lori

Tonya said...

Hey There... this was a GREAT post.. are you kidding me? I'm so much like the way you described yourself. I don't like being alone. It allows me too much time to think. I don't like to think (hhmmm... and I wonder why I'm slow?) LOL!! Seriously, I DO NOT like to be sad and I'm almost always most happy when people are buzzing around me. (At least my boys... so long as my babies are near)

I've been struggling recently with my lack of close personal friendships. People will tell you that they're "there for you if you need them," and they sound sincere when they say it.. but when things calm down we found ourselves alone. It makes me sad sometimes, but I've learned so much about GOD through this journey. I've actually learned the MOST in my time spent alone.

This was a great quote - but it was DEFINITELY an emotional one to think about.

Thanks for sharing your spin! I always LOVE your humor and they way you see GOD in everything.

GREAT JOB!

Michelle Bentham said...

Beautiful Testimony, filled with His Glory! You are welcome to post... I feel like Moses sometimes, even Jeremiah who both felt inadequate speak in the presence of our vast, great and mighty God - GLory! He has done a work has He not. Being alone reminds us that there simply are needs in our lives, God sized needs that were created by Him only for Him to fill. Amen and Amen. Thank you for jumping in. Blessings.

Ang baylis said...

Oh, Kelley...
I've been trying to stay off the computer but sometimes I just have to get on here to read. This post speaks loudly to me. I was just having a conversation with a friend about best friends this morning. I think we are all afraid of being rejected and I must admit that's me! You are so right that Jesus comes first and He's the best friend we could ever have. I could have written this post. Thank you for sharing. You are such an amazing writer and sister in Christ!
Much love, Angie xoxo

Janna Rust said...

Kelley, it is been my pleasure getting to know you through CBS this year. And, I hate to tell you this - again - but you are a writer...and a speaker too. :) And you know I'm not just saying that to make you feel good. :)

This was a beautiful story of how God can be the best of the best in friendship.

Susan said...

Oh Kelly,

I'm SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I was planning on writing you a letter today to encourage you to jump on in.

I remember feeling the same exact way as you, afraid and intimidated, and I still do...

You are surrounded by so many loving women, heck, I'm so glad no one is judging me. If I felt that way, I'd start back scrapbooking! He He...

I so identify with everything you shared today. Thanks so much for being so brave, we are all so blessed and encouraged because you were obedient.

Love you♥

Denise said...

Such a lovely post, be blessed sweetie.

MrsJoeB said...

Your writing is beautiful and you have under-rated yourself! Everyone's testimony is different but just as beautiful as it speaks of God's grace and mercy. You are a blessing!
In His Graces~Pamela

PS-here is the cabin site we went to. It is not too far from where you live. I highly recommend it as an outing without kids-it is so romantic and God's presence is so alive there!!

http://www.paradiselakecabin.com/

Rhonda said...

What a wonderful testimony. And beautifully written.

Kim said...

Kelley~
Wow...you are am amazing woman...with a heart after God. You did a GREAT job on this meme.

I'm a lot like you...in many ways.....I've search for SO many years...looking for that FRIEND...to fill a void .....yet, as I've grown, and gone through the seasons of my heart....God's making his presence...so real in my heart.

THANK-YOU for being SO REAL....you have a BEAUTIFUL heart!!

Kim said...
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Teri said...

I really liked this Kelley. Your heart is so sweet.