Oh how I love this blogging world! What could be better than meeting women from all over the country (and Canada too), making new friends, being encouraged in my faith, and all without leaving the house! How about doing all of those things AND leaving the house! I am getting really serious about whether or not to attend the She Speaks conference. The Early Bird Discount deadline is Friday (29th) so I would like to know what I am doing by then. I just know it will be an incredible event so I have to ask what is holding me back?
1---I feel inadequate and inexperienced. Who am I to go to such a large, national event? I am just an uneducated, inexperienced mom from Kansas. What would I do with the things I learn?
2---I am afraid. I don't know anyone personally that is going (although some wonderful bloggers will be there), what if I don't fit in? And to travel alone? what if I get lost?......
3---Can I afford it? Kids in college, kids needing braces, kids playing sports, a husband with a new TV, an air conditioner dying a sloooow death (summer is coming whether we believe it or not), beach vacation the week after the conference........where will the money come from?
As I have read about the conference over the past two years I never really dreamed I would go. But now I am admitting it to myself and to the world, "I do want to go! I do, I do, I do!" So now that I have established that fact, the question is "does God want me to go?
I am praying that He makes His will absolutely clear on this decision and that I will be obedient to Him. Every day it becomes more and more clear to me that I want to serve God and assist others in their Christian walk. Without a doubt the most fulfilling thing I have ever done (outside of having babies) is to serve God by shepherding and speaking to women! The trick is to distinguish my own will and desires from what God's will for me is.
So specifically I am praying that God will drop a "GO" or "NO GO" sign from the sky! I would even take a "still small voice" in a language I understand clearly. Finally, if I am not meant to go, I pray that He not only shuts the door but also removes the desire. As my British friend Tim would say, "stub my toe before I reach the door." Whatever happens I pray He gives me peace with it!