This is how I always think of my Dad. These pictures were taken in the mid 1980s.
Oh my goodness, I am so overwhelmed by all of your responses to my prayer request! I want you all to know how much it means to me that my family is being lifted up in this way! I have seen God work in some mighty things over the last few days and I am trying to process it all. What I know for sure is that God is near me and He is working in my life!
First let me tell you a little something about my Dad. His mother died when he was 12. A year later his older bother was placed in a State Mental Hospital due to epileptic seisures and a behavior disorder. His father was cold and distant. Through all of this my Dad had a great sense of humor. He loved to tease people and play practical jokes. Some of his jokes were over the top and some people would call them irresponsible. But that is my Dad.
We were only a family for a short time. I only remember bits and pieces. I remember he would tell me if I wished really hard, the magic fairy would leave chocolate milk and donuts on the front porch. This happened several times and I loved it. Till the time he told me to go look for them and they weren't there (he had hidden them on the balcony). That is his sense of humor.
He was a policeman when I was young. I remember at lunch one day a helicopter circled our house and through a megaphone we heard: "come out with your hands up!" That was Dad. He got in trouble with the police dept. for that one. Another time he wore his gas mask home to scare my little sister, he got in trouble with my mom for that one.
Anyway, when I was 7 my Dad found a job in sales. He met a woman at work and left us behind. They moved to California and we rarely saw him or heard from him. I did live with him and his girlfriend when I was in 8th grade. He owned a sailboat and we would spend weekends sailing on the ocean together. His girlfriend hated the water so it was just the two of us. And lots of beer. At that time he was already drinking heavily and was very moody. I moved home to Kansas.
He married and divorced 3 more times after that. I didn't see him much. Sometimes I got a very late birthday card but not often. I vascilated between anger, sadness and bitterness. He was going on cruises and vacations and didn't ever seem to think about his children. I feel like I have spent a lifetime crying for him. I wanted his attention and approval so badly. I finally realized that he has given me all he knows how to give.
My dad used to be very vain. He would primp for an hour before leaving the house. He took a lot of pride in how he looked and I always thought he was so very handsome. He reminded me of Ted Danson on cheers.
Unfortunately, you can't live the lifesyle he has lived and not pay a heavy price. I have watched him go in and out of rehab for several years. He now struggles to get by, both physically and financially. His body is old and weak. I have prayed and prayed that God would work a miracle and free him from the addictions that tormented him. Alcohol, cigarettes and eventually gambling. Satan has had a field day with my Dad.
I know that when he was in California he had a boss that took him to church. There my Dad said he accepted Christ and was baptised. A couple of years ago I talked with him and he assured me he knows the Lord. But his life wasn't showing it. How could I be sure?
A little over a month ago my Dad entered rehab again. He defeated his addictions and has been free from alcohol and cigarettes for 6 weeks now. I spoke with him while he was there. I told him I love him and how proud I am of him.
Tuesday morning he couldn't breathe and had tightness in his chest. An ambulance took him to the hospital. He had suffered a mild heart attack and was placed on oxygen to help him breathe. Wednesday afternoon he suffered another heart attack and was placed on a ventilator. The doctors have said it doesn't look good. My sister has gone to see him and I am waiting to hear what happens next.
Last night I prayed that somehow I could know where he is at with God. Will he go to heaven? Does he believe? I was led to an email that he had sent me last year. A friend of mine had just passed away and this is what my Dad's email said.............
My darling daughter Kelley,
I was so sad to read your latest email about your friend, Mary.
In all of the turmoil that life on earth presents, it is sometimes easy to question God's plan for life. I am convinced there is a reason to every end of life on earth if only to imagine a life after, filled with joy and happiness. That is the answer to our prayers. Hard to understand sometimes.
Love you,
Dad
Do you think that was my answer from God? I found another email I had kept that said in part.....
I can't sleep at night. Was up at 4am today. Worrying about my finances and my loss of esteem with family. It goes right along with my problems with alcohol. I tuned in to a religious music station on the radio and I began to sob and sing to the words of the songs that I knew.
My heart has felt a little more at ease after re-reading these emails. What a treasure they turned out to be. I am also grateful that whatever the outcome he beat the addiction to alcohol, cigarettes and gambling. Satan, you are a defeated foe and you could not win this one! Praise the Lord and give Him the glory! My Dad will be healed and whole, one way or another!!!
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