Friday, February 29, 2008

I got this from my daughter this week. Lord knows I have had my share of blonde moments but this just cracked me up! I dare you not to laugh......

video

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ka-Ching is Catching!







This whole conference deadline business is making me a wreck! I feel like I am in "hurry up and wait mode." Early bird registration ends tomorrow so I am sweating bullets looking for an answer from God. Every little thing makes me think, "is that a yes? or is that a not yet?"

It actually started last night as I was spending some one on One time with God and my journal. I had come to the conclusion that not only do I want to go to the conference, I believed God wanted me there as well. However, it costs a lot of money! So I journaled the following words: "I BELIEVE You can provide & I EXPECT You will provide. Thank you in advance Lord, I promise to glorify You through this experience." Now I am not one to buy into the whole "name it and claim it" thing, but I do know I can go confidently before His throne with confidence to ask, seek and knock. If He supplied the courage and desire, surely He could supply the money. So, I went to bed expecting to wake up and find a check from God under my pillow (well maybe not quite that obvious but close).


About mid-morning I was having a discussion with my husband about our new insurance coverage when he told me we would be saving a substantial amount on our premiums by changing plans. Like enough to cover the cost of the conference within a couple of months. Could that be my check from God?

Unfortunately, not an hour later, a plumber came to inspect a pipe that was leaking in our basement ceiling. OH NO! KA-CHING!$

AHH, then the mail came. C.C. is accepted into the Christian Camp this summer that she was on the waiting list for! YEA!! KA-CHING$

This afternoon was spent at the dentist where Sunshine got a cleaning (and an undisclosed number of cavities) and I expressed my terror of "the chair" with the hygenist. She tried to reassure me but after looking at my gums it appears I may be looking at some kind of "graft" in the near future! Ouch!! KA-CHING$

Tonight we celebrated belated birthdays for 3 of our kids since we have not been able to schedule a time any sooner, due to schedule conflicts. It was great to finally be able to see the grandparents, eat cake and give them their gifts! KA-CHING$

Tomorrow (Friday) we head out of town for the first of three travelling soccer tournaments this spring. Hotel, restaurant food, gas....KA-CHING$

Oh, I could go on like this, as I am sure you could as well. I am still waiting and I still believe God can provide the money I need in a big way. He is, after all, a BIG GOD and He is kinda known for doing big things in the most unexpected of ways (making a shepherd boy a King, coming as a baby in a manger, calling me into ministry.....)! It isn't like we don't have the money and I know we will come up with it if we are sure this is where God is leading, but if suddenly He drops a check under my pillow........Please God, drop a check under my pillow!!!

Thanks for praying this out with me, I owe you all!!! (ya'll for you Southern bloggers out there).

Thankful Thursday Thirteen!



I think this is the ultimate in meme multitasking, combine the Thankful Thursday with the Thursday Thirteen! I did this last week and I thought there is no way I could come up with a fresh list for this week. Of course after spending time with God this morning it was easy to find 13 things to thank Him for, so here is my TTT (Thankful Thursday Thirteen):

Y Thank You for the opportunity to serve such a BIG and awesome God!
Y Thank You for the gifts of encouragement I have received as I seek Your will for me,
timely words of scripture as well as words and prayers of others!
Y Thank You that You are in control even when everything around me says otherwise!
Y Thank You that You have ordained all my days and nothing in my life is a surprise or shock
to you!
Y Thank You for the amazing gift of prayer! And that You would desire a relationship with
me!
Y Thank You for the for the gift of amazing grace!
Y Thank You for the gift of praise & worship!
Y Thank You for equipping me to do all the things You have called me to do!
Y Thank You for loving me in spite of all that I am!
Y Thank You for being a Faithful father and the comfort and knowledge that you will never
forsake me!
Y Thank You for the preservation of your word! Thank You that it is so available and
applicable.
Y Thank You for transforming me and changing my "want to!"
Y Thank You for Jesus!

Also, Thank You to all of you who are encouraging me as well as praying with me and for me. I can feel the prayers and the fear is definitely not as intense. At this point, it is more the financial aspect of going that is hanging me up. However, I know God is my Jehova Jireh and is more than capable of providing the funds for me to go, after all He seems to have provided me the courage!
Have a Blessed Thankful Thursday!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Should I stay or Should I go?....


Oh how I love this blogging world! What could be better than meeting women from all over the country (and Canada too), making new friends, being encouraged in my faith, and all without leaving the house! How about doing all of those things AND leaving the house! I am getting really serious about whether or not to attend the She Speaks conference. The Early Bird Discount deadline is Friday (29th) so I would like to know what I am doing by then. I just know it will be an incredible event so I have to ask what is holding me back?
1---I feel inadequate and inexperienced. Who am I to go to such a large, national event? I am just an uneducated, inexperienced mom from Kansas. What would I do with the things I learn?

2---I am afraid. I don't know anyone personally that is going (although some wonderful bloggers will be there), what if I don't fit in? And to travel alone? what if I get lost?......

3---Can I afford it? Kids in college, kids needing braces, kids playing sports, a husband with a new TV, an air conditioner dying a sloooow death (summer is coming whether we believe it or not), beach vacation the week after the conference........where will the money come from?

As I have read about the conference over the past two years I never really dreamed I would go. But now I am admitting it to myself and to the world, "I do want to go! I do, I do, I do!" So now that I have established that fact, the question is "does God want me to go?

I am praying that He makes His will absolutely clear on this decision and that I will be obedient to Him. Every day it becomes more and more clear to me that I want to serve God and assist others in their Christian walk. Without a doubt the most fulfilling thing I have ever done (outside of having babies) is to serve God by shepherding and speaking to women! The trick is to distinguish my own will and desires from what God's will for me is.

So specifically I am praying that God will drop a "GO" or "NO GO" sign from the sky! I would even take a "still small voice" in a language I understand clearly. Finally, if I am not meant to go, I pray that He not only shuts the door but also removes the desire. As my British friend Tim would say, "stub my toe before I reach the door." Whatever happens I pray He gives me peace with it!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

State Basketball Tournament!


Congratulations Cece, you ROCK! I am so proud to be your Mom, today and everyday!!

Love You Girl~~MOM

Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Big Cut


Hair struggles are nothing new in my house but today we actually did something about it. No more tears around here, we cut off 10" of daily "hair battle" and put it in a baggie bound for Locks of Love! Of course it looks so pretty in that baggie, and it is such part of her that I hope I can bring myself to mail it off. Oh dear, I am really a sap!!

No Stiff-Neck For Me!!

I must have slept wrong last night because I woke up this morning with a stiff neck. I took a little ibuprofen and it is feeling much better now but it has made me reflect on how God called the Israelites a "stiff necked" people. I did a little research and according to Biblegateway the words stiff-necked are used 19 times in the NIV to describe the people of Israel. So I got to thinking about what it really means to be stiff-necked.

Stiff = rigid or firm; difficult or impossible to bend or flex
Neck= the part of the body that connects the head to the trunk

According to this definition, if you have a stiff neck your entire being is rigid, unbendable and inflexible. Needless to say you can't get much done in this condition (believe me, I was there this morning!). Now, I know those Israelites were sleeping in some uncomfortable positions out in the desert but I don't think their physical bodies are what God is referring to when He calls them a "stiff necked" people. God had chosen them to be His people, He had delivered them from bondage in Egypt and was leading them to the promised land flowing with milk and honey. He had even let them see His glory! Yet every chance they got they were rebellious and resistant to God. They preferred their own thoughts and ways to those of God. Consider:

~~when they were hungry & thirsty in the desert they grumbled and complained against God. (Exodus 16:8; 17:3)

~~God sent Manna from heaven with specific instructions on how much to gather and when to gather it, yet some of them paid no attention & gathered extra (Exodus 16:20, 27)

~~After pledging their loyalty to God, the people begged for other gods to lead them when Moses was too long in coming back down from the mountain. (Exodus 32:1)

And this kind of disobedience and rejection has continued ever since. It is easy to sit back and say, "wow, those Israelites sure were stubborn", but then we have to ask ourselves, "have we examined our own necks lately?"

~~Has God given me provision or blessings that I have not recognized and thanked Him for?
~~Do I completely trust Him with my life or do I worry and complain about what my future holds?
~~Have I made Him the LORD of my life and rid myself of all idolatry and false gods?
~~Am I flexible enough to go wherever He leads? Even if it is outside of my comfort zone?

Yes, when I look a little deeper I find that I am a lot more like those Israelites than I would have thought! But here is the good news.......just like I took ibuprofen for my stiff-neck this morning, there is a remedy for having a spiritually stiff-neck as well. Dueteronomy 10:16 says: "circumcise your hearts therefore and do not be stiff necked any longer."

And how do we circumcise our hearts? Romans 2:29 tells us that circumcision of the heart is by the Spirit, not by the written code. The Israelites had been given many blessings, including the written Law of God, but that is not what they needed to circumcise their hearts and heal their stiff-necks. Only the Spirit of God can do that! So there you have it: God Himself has given us the prescription and remedy for a stiff neck. It is our choice whether or not to take it!



I do want to make clear that I am not talking about salvation here, but rather choosing to live in obedience to God and the blessings that come from that obedience. Though we are assured of salvation once we accept Christ, I do believe we need to make a choice to live in obedience and call upon the power of the Holy Spirit daily.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Frivilous Friday....

I really want to write something deep and meaningful today. I have been reading so many great stories and inspirational thoughts from other blogs that I am feeling more than a little shallow. However, with Cartoon Network blaring in the other room and the kids needing my attention every 2 minutes, I am not in a position to be too introspective right now. So if you are seeking spiritual nourishment you might want to bail now, but if shallow drivel is what you desire then by all means, read on.....

Today was the Nanny's last day. No not MY nanny but the nanny that the neighbors so generously share every Friday. It seems their son loves to play with mine and so their nanny comes to get Q-man every Friday morning. She has blessed me in a lot of ways; giving me extra time to myself, taking Q places he might not otherwise get to go, the discussions we have had about our faith and love for the Lord....I really feel like God gave us a treasure last summer when He led her into our lives (at Q's birthday party in the middle of Chuck E Cheese's-HA!). There will be a new nanny now, but it won't be Beta. I am so sad!

I got invited to coffee today! That feels like such a grown-up thing to do, meet a friend for coffee. I love those coffee places! It's where all the "important" people hang out on their lap-tops and cell phones while "grown-up" girlfriends meet for a cup of Southern Pecan coffee. I even got a free coffee with the purchase of a cookie! I thought about having a muffin but after reading Lysa Terkeurst's post on being a "muffin-top" I thought better of it. I wouldn't mind being an oatmeal/raisin cookie. They are sweet, relatively flat and full of fruit & fiber.

OK, well that is all of the shallow thinking I have for now but please come back, I am sure I will think of more soon! Actually I am going to try really hard to think in the deep end soon.... Meanwhile, I am so grateful for the encouraging thoughts and words I have read elsewhere!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Thursday Fun!

So this week I couldn't decide which to do, Thankful Thursday or Thursday Thirteen (I told you before that I have trouble with making decisions). So here are my 13 things I am thankful for this week:

1) My relationship with the Lord and that I just fall a little more in love with Jesus everyday!
2) A Christian husband! I have been married to him when he wasn't walking with the Lord and his faith has changed our lives and our marriage!
3) Having 7 healthy and (relatively) normal children!
4) My eyesight. 10 years after LASIK surgery I am still amazed to wake up and see the clock clearly!
5) My Dad seeking help this week for his addiction to alcohol!
6) My Mom celebrating one year of being free of cigarettes!
7) My husband's job that provides so well I am able to stay home and serve our family!
8) Being called into CBS ministry and being used by God to make a difference in the lives of others!
9) That I got to know all of my grandparents before they passed away and to know I will one day see them again!
10) Godly friendships!
11) My church home and lifegroup!
12) Grace by faith not by works, and living with the power of the Holy Spirit!
13) And today I am especially thankful for God's promise that:

"neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able
to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39


Have a blessed Thursday!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Bargain Found


Don't you just love getting a little unexpected "gift" from God? His timing never ceases to amaze me! After bible study this morning I took Q-Man to preschool and stopped by another Christian bookstore on my way home. I know, I know I don't need anything from there!!! We came to that conclusion yesterday but I went anyway. So as I walked into the bible section there was a table of red, Italian-leather, large print bibles on clearance for $9.99! These were originally $44.99! Now how could I pass up a deal like that? I also don't think it is a coincidence that on the way home Rich Mullins was singing "Our God is an Awesome God" on my car radio....

Blessed by a new bible~~~Kelley

You are my Sunshine!

Happy 17th birthday Sunshine!! I love you!

~~Mom

Monday, February 18, 2008

In Search of a Bargain!




There is no excuse better than a holiday to go shopping, except of course for a really good sale, and Presidents Day is no exception. So I decided to celebrate today at the mall....

I had heard one of the department stores was having a great sale on boots (yeah right, if you are a 6.5, all the size 9's were long gone!) I did see some cute tops that were affordable (only because they were 75% off) so I went in search of a fitting room. I have never seen such a big fitting room, it had to be the size of one of my guest bedrooms! It was a good thing because I nearly got stuck in one of the tops I tried on. I am thinking my arms are far too muscular because it couldn't be that they are too FAT. Anyway, it is no wonder they were 75% off, they must have been mis-sized!

After the depressing disaster in the fitting rooms I decided to check the jewelry Dept. After all, jewelry is a one-size fits all accessory! It was there I hit the jackpot. Not only did I find some great bargains, I ran into a friend from my CBS bible study. I grabbed up a couple of necklaces and matching earrings and I even found a silver bracelet that would be perfect to give as a graduation gift, I am sure I will know lots of kids who are graduating this year! I got a great deal on all of the jewelry but I was most excited about the sterling silver bracelet that was marked down from $40.00 to $5.00! As I walked the mall I thought, "I am so thrifty!" That was when I realized the bracelet said "Class Of 2007!" HELLO, that would be LAST YEAR'S class...duh!
It is thinking like this that makes me think I shouldn't leave the house! LOL.

So my next dilemma came at the Christian bookstore. I really don't need anything from there but I had a coupon that expires today and that is one of my favorite places to look around! Well, it didn't take long before I found a beautiful, brown faux-leather, Giant print bible! Oh, I wanted that bible. The size was perfect (unlike the tops) and I wouldn't even need my reading glasses to read it. The problem is, I have 16+ bibles already and that doesn't even count my husband & children's bibles! I have nearly every translation available plus I am a frequent visitor to the bible online at Biblegateway. Still, I reasoned with myself that God would want me to have this bible! That is when reason hit me: "God wants you to go home to read & study the bibles you already have!" Well, I know conviction when it hits me so I left the Christian bookstore empty handed but my heart and my pocket book were full!


Happy Presidents Day~~Kelley

Friday, February 15, 2008

Kindergarten Roundup - 7th Edition


16 years ago I took my oldest daughter to our first Kindergarten roundup. Baby #2 was at preschool, I had baby #3 in a stroller and was pregnant with #4. I remember the tears came as soon as she walked off with the teacher......and I cried till she came back! Oh she was fine, I was the wreck!

So here I am heading off to Kindergarten roundup once again, this time with baby #7--the last one! I have put it off as long as possible. He was 5 last July so there is no stopping him from heading off to elementary school this fall. Am I ready? Can I do this? I think the teachers have gotten wise, now instead of the child walking away with the teacher, you drop them in a classroom and you walk away. Somehow that seems easier to me and amazingly I got through the morning with no tears!

I listened to the principal, counselor, nurse and PTA President give their speeches and tried to stay interested, that isn't easy when you have heard it 6 times before. In fact, my husband bailed half-way through. But even though I have been here before, it is Quin's first time and he deserves parents who are just as interested this time as they were all of the other times! Now I am just praying they will have enough kids to form an afternoon class because I don't want to send him all day and if he goes in the morning he will have to miss going to CBS bible study with me 2 days a week. I have figured out that this little dilemma gives me something to focus on so I don't fall completely apart over my youngest bird sprouting his wings. Not to mention my oldest son (baby #3) will be a senior in high school next year. I don't stand a chance, come back to school time I will be a wreck......please pray!!!

Holding On To What I Can~~~Kelley




Thursday, February 14, 2008

A Wii and a New TV.


The past 3 years our family has chosen to go on a summer vacation in lieu of presents at Christmas. As you can imagine, airfare for 9 plus accomodations wipe out the Christmas budget! The kids still get gifts from grandparents and exchange names with one another but they don't get much from Mom and Dad. Although we have tried to incorporate some traditions and fun activities into the holiday season we live in an area where most kids are getting new cars, Ipods, Uggs, Cell Phones, game systems......you get the idea!


Anyway, about a week before Christmas my husband decided he wanted to get a Wii for the family. We had played the game with friends and it seemed like it would provide a lot of family-bonding fun! Unfortunately these game systems are pretty hard to find. In fact, the week before Christmas they are impossible to find. Poor Dad was really bummed. I told him I would much rather give the kids a big gift like that on a random day in February than say, "because Jesus was born, you get a Wii." That is not what I want Christmas to be about for them.

Fast forward to Valentine's Day....Last week my College daughter, who works at an Electronics Store, called to say they had gotten in a shipment of the still impossible to find Wiis. My husband turned into a human jumping bean, I'm telling you he could barely contain himself! We decided to give it to the kids as a Valentine's gift. They opened it this evening and the squeals and screams were deafening (I think my husband was squealing too, LOL). And that's not all, last weekend the TV he has been wanting went on sale, so of course he brought it home too.
Christmas may be but a memory but on this Valentines Day, it is almost as much fun to watch the man I love with his new toy as it is to watch the kids with theirs! As for me, it is the beach in July! Reservations are already made!!!
Happy Valentine's Day~~~Kelley

Happy Birthday Girly Girl!



Happy Birthday Sweet Baby!! These past 8 years have flown by and you, my girl, are a true treasure. If you have 7 kids you figure at least one would be born on a holiday and what better birthday for a girl than Valentines Day (even if I did cheat and was induced)? It can't be easy to be the 5th girl but you have found your uniqueness in the bunch! So in honor of the Thursday Thirteen, here are thirteen things I love about you girlfriend:
1) your laugh and sense of humor
2) your gorgeous hair color
3) when you snuggle next to me
4) how social you are (you have more friends than the rest of us combined!)
5) your appetite
6) your sense of style
7) that you are a "mother hen" to the little kids in the neighborhood
8) how artistic and creative you are
9) your relationship and dependance on your big sis C.C.
10) how you dance
11) when you bring me water at night in my favorite cup
12) your devotion to your webkins
13) your love of animals

That is just a peek at what is special to me about you!


~~Mom


Friday, February 8, 2008

Daddy Daughter Dance #2


Well this is the night all my girls live for, the Daddy Daughter dance at church. It doesn't matter that the average age of girls attending is 10, even my big girls get up for this night. Jessi came home from college and Lauren rearranged her busy 21 year-old schedule to spend the evening with Dad. And don't think he doesn't love every minute of it, especially all of the dancing! He is one lucky man!!
As for me, I got to go on a date of my own. Little man Q is at a sleepover with a friend so Big Brother and I went to dinner together. Here is how that went: he let me choose the restaurant, he turned on my favorite radio station in the car, listened to me ramble on about Joseph, Moses and the Israelites (and acted interested in what I was saying) and finally, he waited patiently while I went into a craft store. Hello, is that the making of a good man or what!! It's hard to believe that just yesterday his science teacher was ready to kick him out of class for pretending his sodium chloride was Dippin-Dots. I guess he does have a little maturing to do but any 16 (nearly 17) year-old guy who spends his Friday night going out with his mom can't be all bad :)
I must say, this was a nice start to the weekend. Over the next two days we have 6 ball games, a baseball practice, a birthday party, a Star of the Week poster to complete, lifegroup at our house and youthgroup at church. You know your life is nuts when you start looking forward to Mondays!! Oh well, I guess all of this activity keeps me out of trouble, besides what else would I do with myself?
Blessings~~~Kelley


Thursday, February 7, 2008

Can't do a Tatoo!

If you are visiting and notice that I have completely revamped the look of this blog, let me just say this is exactly why I can never get a tatoo; I wouldn't be able to decide on one certain design and stick with it. Before I know it I would end up with tatoos all over my body and when I am old, the workers at the nursing home would have all kinds of fun stretching out my wrinkled skin trying to tell what each one was. Yikes, that is not a pretty thought. I had better just stick with my blog design (plus, it is a lot less painful!).

Actually, I tend to have trouble making up my mind in most things I do. When I go to dinner it is helpful to get a copy of the menu a couple of hours ahead of time so I can be ready to order with everyone else. My house also shows my fickle side, I like traditional, but primitive antique is oh so inviting. Contemporary is fun and funky but shabby chic is quite lovely. The worst part is, I loved the "lived in" look but I hate clutter and mess (how do you reconcile that dilemma?). Needless to say my home is never quite there......

I envy people who can rattle off a list of their favorites; music, food, movies, color, vacation spot. I just can't think of a favorite, I like it all! Don't get me wrong I do have dislikes, I just don't have favorites. Now my kids will tell you I play favorites with them (isn't that always the way?). As far as that goes, I heard someone say once, "my favorite child is the one who needs me the most at the time. The one who is sick, hurt or scared." I love that!

I guess it all comes down to the fact that God gave me so many things to enjoy and I don't have to pick just one of any of them. I can love the whole rainbow if I want to (I don't have to pick just one color) and I can love all food (which I do) and I can listen to everything from Praise & Worship to Classic Rock! In fact, if I picked just one, that might insult God and I wouldn't want to do that....instead of thinking of myself as indecisive, I'll just say I'm eclectic!

~~~~Kelley

Monday, February 4, 2008

Good News/Bad News

Well, the bad news is I didn't win the scholarship to the She Speaks conference (not that I thought I would) but the good news is I have been talking about it and praying with friends and family as to whether or not I should go. It's funny because it took me a long time to even admit I want to be there (that lack of confidence thing) so at least I have cleared the first hurdle. I am anxious to see how God will lead and provide! Congratulations to Karla from Looking Towards Heaven for winning the scholarship!

It has also been fun to explore so many of the blogs out there and it appears that there were a few women who stopped by mine as well (thanks for the encouraging comments). I am such a social bug and LOVE meeting new friends, especially sisters who share a passion for the LORD! That can be difficult to find in this "worldly world"! That is another reason I want to go to the She Speaks conference (there, I said it again), so I can come away with new friends from all over the country! You know that is probably why I have so many children, it increases my social network tremendously! LOL

Anyway, today I am reminding myself that God wants to use me right now, right where I am! As a wife and mom, as a daughter, as a friend, as a shepherd, as a prayer warrior, and this week as a speaker at bible study (I am delivering a lecture on Romans 10 this Wednesday). Looking too far ahead is as much of a distraction as looking back when it comes to serving the Lord. As I said before, I want to concentrate on what He wants me to do today and wait expectantly for what He has in mind for the future!

In the Moment~~~Kelley

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Daddy/Daughter Dance #1


What girl doesn't love going to a dance? Last night was the Father/Daughter dance at my girls' elementary school. As I watched my two little ladies get all "fancy" for their Daddy, I thought of how grateful I am for the Daddy they have!


When I was their age my Dad moved to California with the "hot girl" at the office. When you are a kid you have no idea how that is affecting and shaping everything in your future. Working through insecurity and fear of abandonment has been a part of my life ever since. And probably one of the major reasons behind time spent in "construction sites" (see my previous post).


I don't want to sound like I am placing blame, on the contrary, I am just that much more aware of what a gift my babies have: a Dad who loves them and would do anything for them. This isn't something they even think about, it's just the way it is (and the way it should be!)...........A mom to fix their hair and a Dad to dance with, can life get any better?

~~~Kelley

Friday, February 1, 2008

Just call me a Mountain Goat!

I read a story recently about a woman who had two pet mountain goats. Every day she would walk them up the path to the top of the mountain where they would romp, play and wrestle. They loved being on top of the mountain because that is what mountain goats were created for. Eventually they would tire and lie down next to her, completely content.

Unfortunately, there was a construction site next door and it was a big draw for the goats. They would wander off and play in the garbage and mud of the construction site which would leave them dirty, sick or injured. The woman would have to drag them out and sometimes carry them up the mountain road because they were so determined to play in the garbage.

Oh, how I am like those mountain goats! I have been to the top of the mountain and I know exactly where to find joy and fulfillment (in the presence of God) and I know what waits for me in the construction site (pain and shame). So why do I go back? What is so alluring that I find myself once again playing in the mud? How can I break this pattern of falling back into sinful habits?

First of all, I find comfort in the fact that I recognize the pit that I am in. So many people spend time there and don't even realize the dirt and danger that they are playing in. I know that is the Holy Spirit inside of me.

Secondly, I need to repent of my actions and be made clean by the blood of Christ. I cannot allow Satan to hold my sins over my head and beat me up with them. This is especially hard for me, when my own heart condemns me. But it is important to accept God's gift of grace and move forward with Him.

Finally, I must remember that God loves me and if I keep my eyes on Him at all times He will lead me to the top of the mountain. He knows where I will find true and lasting happiness and joy because He created me. I will never be perfect in this life but with God's guidance and leading I can outgrow my desire to play in the garbage!

I don't know what your "construction site" is. It could be anything from gossip to addiction, but whatever it is God wants to lead you out of it. And listen to this, if you can't follow Him out, He is willing to carry you. How humbling and amazing is that?! I may be a mountain goat but I am God's mountain goat and that is all I need to know!