Saturday, May 10, 2008

TSMS~~What is your sinking sand???

I love singing worship songs at church on Sundays. There is a line in one of my favorite hymns that says, "On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand....." Last week as my mouth was singing, my mind was thinking, "what is MY 'sinking sand'?"

What I came up with was a list of people, places and things where I have placed my hopes and identity. Not that any of these are bad, but just like sand, they are not strong enough to be a foundation for my life. They will shift and I will crumble!

The first thing that came to my mind, and what I want to write about today, was my concern about what other people think of me. Of course we all want to be well liked and accepted but I have put far too much emphasis on that at times. My self worth has been wrapped up in the responses I receive from everyone I come in contact with.

The truth is, I will never be able to please everyone and I will not be "liked" or "approved of" by everyone I meet. That is the "sinking sand" of human nature. Even if I am loved and embraced today there is no guarantee I will receive that same response tomorrow.

A few months ago this reality hit me hard. My husband and I went to a Japanese Steakhouse for dinner to celebrate my first teaching lecture at CBS. We were seated at a table with 2 other couples that we didn't know. My nature is to chat and meet new friends and that night was no exception.

One of the women mentioned it was her third night in a row to eat there (she had heard Japanese food was good for the diet?!).

I said, "wow, how do you afford that?" (Because for us it was a big expense on a special occasion).

Apparently that comment offended this woman terribly. By the time we were done with dinner she was so mad at me she couldn't eat her meal. I had no idea I had hurt her feelings, however I figured it out pretty quickly when she called me a few choice names and began to threaten me. I tried to apologize but it was too late for that. Needless to say my husband and I left the restaurant in a hurry and I spent the rest of the night crying in my pillow. What should have been a happy occasion was marred by the shifting sand of someone else's 0pinion of me.

Jesus knew that God was his audience of One and I too want to know that security. To plant my feet on the rock of Jesus and only care what His opinion is. Are my words, actions and service pleasing to the only One that counts?

I think I am getting better at this concept. It is a hard one but I am slowly learning that when I feel that familiar insecurity and need for approval I can fall on my knees, pick up His word and know that I am loved and accepted as a daughter of the King.........

Isaiah 53:3 tells me that Jesus was:
~~despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Romans 14 :18 says:
~~anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

James 4:4 reminds me:
~~Friendship with the world is hatred toward God..Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

And I love the promise in 1 Peter 5:4:
~~And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand..

Please join Amy to see more singing souls on this Saturday.


Shari said...

My sinking sand would be when I try to make decisions, based on what others want me to do. I get messages that I should we should move back home, do certain work, that I should go back to school now instead of later. For me, this has been a year about seeking God's will daily and doing only what He wants me to do. I need to please only Him.

Christina said...

I think this is most peoples sinking sand in one way or another. Wanting to be liked and approved of by others is just human nature. I think it is a battle of the flesh that I also suffer from.

I feel so bad for you for what happened at the steak house. Wasn't this woman's response a bit much? Maybe it set something off in her and she just let it out on you. It just doesn't seem fair. You did apologize, what else can you do?

Pretty video. The song was soothing too. I love this music for Saturdays.

luvmy4sons said...

The spirit of the fear of man. I struggle with that as well. I hate it when I say something that unintentionally offends another. I think that just shows a heart after God though...You simply didn't want to be a cause of offense to another. I have learned slowly over the years to let go of other people's repsonses. I cannot control them. But it can be such a painful process. Loved the song! Hugs to you! AND how does one afford to do that? LOL!

Stephanie (Ocean Mommy) said...

I can so relate to this...this week God has been speaking to me about holy motivation. Why do I do the things I do....this fit perfectly with what I'm learning. Thanks for sharing you heart!

This arrangement gave me chills!! It was beautiful..

Happy Mother's Day!

SharonB said...

I remember singing the chorus of this song over and over and over in my head, the the car, the shower....I mean like all the time, when we were going through a very difficul year of our oldest son's rebellion. Praise God tody, 6 years later he is desiring to restore his relationship with God.

Amy Wyatt said...

Thank you for sharing this. It's so true that we get so caught up in other people when we should only be concerned with an audience of one. I've had similar situations to yours at the restaurants twice recently. I was in line at Chick Fil A and everyone was just standing haphazardly. The cashier asked for the next person so I stepped forward.... ( I actually had been there first) but the lady beside me went nuts so I offered to let her go ahead and she made this big deal out of the fact that "obviously I was in a hurry so by all means... jump ahead of her" and go. Even the people around me took up for me and began to say she was wrong (and crazy and a few other choice words) but even though I hadn't intended to offend her and hadn't really done anything... I still felt terrible and worried about what she thought of me.
Your song was great too!

kmom3 said...

I cannot begin to tell you how this spoke to me this morning! I have been all tied up in knots because I am afraid I have offended someone close to me. I have tried to apologize but have yet to hear anything in response.

Thanks for reminding me of where I need to be standing...on HIM, not on the sinking sand of what others think of me. I had never thought of this song in the way you have presented it to us. What is my sinking sand?

Fantastic! Thanks so much for being His voice in my life today!

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

That was beautiful! You are an encouragement. I can completely relate to what you are saying about sand. Thanks for being real.

Andrea said...

Kelley - I'm like you. Thankfully my hubby is the complete opposite and helps me balance out that need. I just like to be social and meet people - I think it's a talent that God has given me (hubby thinks differently at times. But, seriously, that outgoing perosnality is one that can be the light for Christ so it's necessary, I think!!

And, thanks for sharing your story too! I wouldn't have thought anything of that comment but some people just have things on their heart that we obviously don't know about.

I like this arrangment of the song too! Thanks for sharing today and have a great Mom's Day tomorrow!!

Susan said...

Hey Kelly,

Oh boy, I'm so sorry you had to deal with this, but I know BECAUSE OF IT, God has taught you much.

Yes, we are misunderstood many times, and it hurts. I felt your pain.

I can only imagine all the Lord went through.

I loved this precious promise you posted:

~~And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Yes, it makes it all WORTH it, doesn't it?

Blessings to you my friend♥

SweetPea said...

Great post. I would say that is one of my sinking sands it probably is with most people. It's a struggle at times but we do need to remember who is our rock and foundation.

I love Japanese restaurants also but I am like you it is a special treat because it is expensive. I remember the last one we went to it cost $5 to add fried rice.

The reaction of that lady was quite surprising. You would've thought she would have internalized it and realized she must've been blessed financially to go there so much. I guess we just need to try to "ignore" it and realize that other people may be going through some really rough times.
Thanks for the encouraging words...I say that because it's encouraging to know we are not alone in feeling this way by wanting to be approved and liked.

Melanie said...

Kelly, This has always been one of my favorite hymns. Unfortunately, I have several areas that I would consider my "sinking sand", but one for me is also what others think of me. I feel that I have made some improvements recently, but it is still a struggle. I have a long way to go.

I truly do not want what others to think of me to drive me. I want what the Lord wants for me to be what drives me.

Have a blessed weekend!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

This spoke VOLUMES to me....I know I get caught up too often in what people think of me instead of keeping my eyes on the ONE who I really need to please. Thanks for always your insights are spot on!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

When life stays the same...

I think that is my sinking sand.

I'm geared for the great big "next" and when the "next" doesn't come as quick as I would like, it's easy for me to make a swift retreat to hopeless living.

I, too, have struggled with the opinion of man and am learning to walk in the opinion of God. We'll always be prone to wanting the approval of others...

It's good to be loved and cherished. But there are times when others shun us for no good reason, and as long as we're "clear" in the matter, we need to shake the dust off the sandals and move forward in God's opinion of us.

He holds the only truth that should matter to me, and when I am careful to walk in that, the approval of those that matter the most to me is sure to follow.


Mocha with Linda said...

Love this beakutiful old hymn!

Kim said...

What a precious...precious song.

You are SO's easy to put our faith and trust in things that are not a strong foundation.

Bless your sweet heart friend.


Feathering My Nest said...

Kelley, I'm sorry that happened to you in the restaurant. You said nothing wrong. It sounds like she was overly sensitive. I know what you mean though, about feeling terrible if we have offended someone. It takes me a long time to get over it.

My sinking sand would be fretting about things I should be praying about. I like the saying, "If you worry; you are not praying. If you are praying you won't be worrying."

Happy Mother's Day.


Ang baylis said...

I have never heard that hymn and it was beautiful. You made me think of what my sinking sand is... and honestly it's exactly the same as yours! It's a sneaky one. It can come out of nowhere and at the times we least expect them. I have SO been where you were and it feels terrible. Then... I do so so so much of Satan's work by all of the negative talk afterwards. God knows your heart, Kelley and I know you Glorify Him! I love how you reminded me of how Jesus cared about the audience of One! I need that on a bracelet. I'm sure this post will be lingering for awhile for me especially when I hear Travis Cottrell sing "In Christ Alone"... my favorite song.

Happy Mother's Day, sweet friend!
Love you,
Angie xoxo

Peggy said...

Thank you Kelley! That was a tremendous, eye opening lesson on seeking other's approval! I, too, suffered from that throughout my life!

I guess my sinking sand is PEOPLE!

Relationships with people close to me! Or depending on them to "rescue me". Or others depending on me to help them out of their situation! I usually sink any way you do it! And because of that approval need, wham...I'm sunk! I try to tell people the worse of me so they can decide whether they want to accept me and if they don't...sunk again!

That's a good thing to reflect about on Mother's Day...but I trust that as I stand on Christ more and more, that I will reflect more of Him and His strength and less of me each time!

Bless you & your weekend! Peggy

Mel's World said...


THANK YOU so much for being so transparent and honest...I have to tell you that I could totally and completely relate. It is one of the things that I do NOT like about myself at all, but I know that it is part of what makes me human.

Great post! Thanks for sharing your heart with us!

Take Care,

Amy said...

I struggle with this same "sinking sand" issue....I had an incident in the pharmacy just yesterday with the pharmacist. I left the place feeling very "yucky" in my spirit....It is hard for me to separate myself from the emotions and opinions of others. And as a Christian it makes me feel sad when I react to people in a way that I know does not please God....

By the looks of all of these comments, it seems it is a struggle for most of us.

I'm sorry that you were hurt.

Happy Mother's Day, Kelley!
God Bless,