I've mentioned before that I am a runner. Not really a "runner" exactly but I have found that running is great exercise that helps me to get into shape. At least it helped me get into shape after the first 6 babies but for some reason I haven't been able to shed the extra 20 lbs. left behind (literally) by Quin.
It's strange because I have run longer distances and more frequently since Quin was born than I ever did before. Last summer I was a fitness junkie. I worked out at the gym three days a week and ran 3 to 5 miles, three days a week. I saw some results but I still carried around the extra weight.
Perhaps it is that I am now over 40 (by a few years!) and my metabolism isn't what it used to be. It's possible my body has adapted to this form of exercise and it isn't as effective as it used to be. Or maybe there is a bigger reason for my bigger size, God has some things He wants to tell me through running.
I know that sounds strange but the more I talk (and listen) to other runners I find it's true. While our bodies are working our brains can relax and "hear" God much more clearly.
In the past when I ran I did some of my best thinking, but now every time I hit the pavement it is God's voice that I am hearing. It is so compelling that I have gotten into the habit of grabbing my journal after I run and writing down whatever I have "heard" (warning: this can be tricky if you write in pencil and are sweating all over the page, lol).
So what is the difference? Why am I "hearing" God speak to me now when last year all I heard was my own voice in my head? I believe it is because I am at a place where I am seeking harder after Him & I have sought to be more obedient to Him. I was not in the same place a year ago. And quite simply, it is His timing.
His timing was the message I received during my last run. If I had lost the weight last year, I might not still be running now and then I would have lost the opportunity for God to bless me.
However, if He would have revealed Himself to me in this way 10 years ago I would not have been able to understand His message and my family was not ready to accept it. My husband would have had me committed as one of those "Jesus Freak Bible Thumpers." I am sure he would still use that term to describe me now but with respect and love in his voice. LOL!
I guess what I am trying to say is that God has shown me that my lack of weightloss has been His plan all along. The very thing that has frustrated me is what God is using to speak to me. While I have been concerned and focused with the outside, He has been working on the inside.
Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
2 Corinthians 4:16
No, I don't look as young and thin as I did 10 years ago but I wouldn't trade it for the person I am now. As I was thinking about all of this on my run the other day God gave me a literal message.......
