The God of Hope

* Important note to friends and family: This story begins with a flashback. I am NOT pregnant!!

OH NO! I can't be pregnant. I am only 26 years old and I already have a 10 month old baby, as well as a 3 and 4 year old! We can barely support the family we have, much less add another one to the bunch! How will it look as I am hugely pregnant, pushing a stroller and being followed by two little ones? What will the neighbors think? What will my family say?

The doctor's can't tell if the baby is a boy or girl but I just know it is another girl! And I have the perfect name.......Lilly Christine. Lilly, because I love it and Christine after my Grandma.

The baby's head is partially delivered but the contraction has stopped. It feels like I am being split open, so the doctor has pushed her head back in until the next contraction, when I am able to push her whole head out from inside of me.

She is a beautiful baby girl, and the name fits her perfectly~~Lilly Christine.

For the first week after her birth I am surprised at how easy she is. She eats and sleeps and hardly makes a peep.

But then she discovers her voice and since about the second week of her life, Lilly has been making herself heard! "Easy" would never again be a term I would use to describe this daughter, she is as difficult and complicated as an advanced math class would be.

Don't get me wrong, I love this girl with all of my heart! She is beautiful, funny and intelligent but she is also a "wild card". A girl who has always longed to keep up with her older siblings and lacked patience with others as well as herself. If she couldn't do something absolutely perfectly, and be the very best, she would rather not try at all. So little by little she gave up......dance, sports, academics, church......

In a family where the starring roles already seemed to be taken; the oldest one, the smart one, the athletic one.... where could she fit in?

And then, to make matters worse, more babies came along. Now she wasn't even the baby anymore. She was the middle child, the 3rd of 5 girls. What in the world made her special?

I believe this is where Satan sold my daughter the lie that she could find the attention she craved through negative and risky behaviors; she could be the "wild one". And besides, living that kind of lifestyle is so much more fun than following rules.

Like a used car salesman who spots a little old lady alone on the lot, Satan knew a vulnerable target when he saw one. I have bought more than my share of "lemons" from the enemy but my heart breaks when I think of him being anywhere near my children!

For the past two years our family has watched as Lilly has become ensnared in Satan's trap. The "friends" she has chosen have left her lonely and the "activities" she has participated in have left her empty and dissatisfied. In short, what she thought would bring excitement and fun has left her miserable.

So what is a parent to do? How does one child's behavior affect the rest of the family?
What if it causes friction in a marriage? Where does a parent find help when financial resources are limited? When the roaring lion is in the process of stealing, killing and destroying your precious child, where do you turn?

This is the place I found myself as I returned home from North Carolina last month and was faced with perhaps her biggest trouble yet. I had no idea what the answers were, I just knew that my husband and I were in over our heads and we couldn't help her anymore. We had tried everything we knew (punishment, prayer, rewarding good behavior, counseling...) but she was continuing to rebel. We felt helpless and our future looked hopeless.

Then God showed up.

Lilly's small group leader from church is also our Pastor's daughter. She is young(25), beautiful and fun, and apparently she has had our daughter on her heart for awhile.

So when Lilly called her after this latest round of trouble, Angie came to talk with her. She feels that Lilly is at a point where she really wants to change but doesn't know how. Her desire is to mentor Lilly and "lead her into a REAL relationship with Christ". In her words, "the enemy has beaten our daughter badly and she wants to help Lilly know the true joy of Jesus."

By this time my eyes were spilling buckets of tears. I couldn't believe that just the night before I was crying out to God that "I couldn't do this anymore" and today He was sending me an angel who wanted to help!! Some of my friends and relatives have belittled God's involvement in this situation, chalking it up to coincidence but I KNOW where my help came from......the LORD himself!!

I don't know how this mentor relationship will work. They have started with a mutual "TV Fast" and Lilly is willingly adhering to it. TV was a HUGE addiction for her so not watching it at all is a big deal. The idea is to spend time together 4 or 5 days a week doing anything from shopping to exercising to coffee at Starbucks.

This week we have allowed Lilly (and her brother) to go on our church's youth trip to the beach in Panama City, Florida. She will spend the week with her new "mentor" and learn about things like quiet time and journaling. And they will be doing it all with the beautiful backdrop of the ocean.

My great prayer while they are gone is this:

"Where do I send her to school next year?"- I think the temptations at her current school will be too overwhelming for her if she were to return there. I know there will be temptations at every school but I really feel like she needs a "fresh start" somewhere new. Somewhere she doesn't have a circle of friends we don't approve of and a reputation to overcome.

Like I said before, there are friends and neighbors (unbelievers) watching this situation so I am calling on God to Glorify Himself through it! I am waiting and watching for doors to be open and paths to be laid to the right school.

God's word promises that "He knows the plans He has for Lilly, plans to give her hope and a future." So I am claiming that promise for her and waiting for God to show me how to partner with Him, as her mom, in securing that future.