I have always been envious of those people who say they heard a personal message from God. You know "God told me....." or "I clearly heard God say...."
Since I returned home from the She Speaks Conference last June I have been praying hard about what God wants me to do now.
It is frustrating because I feel like I was obedient in going to the conference, I was very motivated by what happened there and optimistic that God was going to use me through what I learned. Oh yeah, my life was going to be radically changed!!
And yet here it is 5 months later and it seems nothing is different. I don't know what I expected but I am still the same "stay-home" wife and mom I was before I went. Yes, I am giving teaching lectures at CBS but I guess I just thought that God would open all kinds of new doors and I would sashay through them.
Then one morning about a month ago I woke up very early. I was sort of half conscious and a verse from scripture kept playing and replaying in my head:
2 Timothy 4:17...2 Timothy 4:17...2 Timothy 4:17.....
It was like I had a song "stuck in my head" and it was keeping me awake. So I grabbed a pencil and paper from next to my bed, wrote it down and then fell back to sleep and forgot all about it.
Later that afternoon I saw the paper and reached for my bible to look up 2 Timothy 4:17:
"But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the Lion's mouth."
After months of wondering if going to the conference was a mistake and praying about what God's purpose for me is, I believe I heard the voice of Jesus whisper in my ear that morning.
It was a whole new perspective on how God was using me. Two weeks later I gave my first CBS teaching lecture of the year and I can't count the times I have been able to shepherd and encourage my friends and family through knowing and applying God's word.
This may not be the way I expected God to use me but since when does God do things the way I expect Him to? I was telling God "I am ready to impact the world for You!!" And He said, "Impact those around you. Your class, friends and family." Perhaps God will enlarge my territory one day, I don't know, but I do know that if I am not faithful with little He won't entrust me with much.
So even though my kids get tired of hearing those "bible stories" and my husband thinks I am loony when I call him at work and say "Guess what, Jesus whispered in my ear this morning!" I am going to keep on proclaiming the message! And today as I speak to my CBS class I know that I won't do it alone "the Lord will stand at my side and give me strength."
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39 comments:
I love that! God is so good to show us that sometimes He can use us best, right where we are!
Those thoughts that make you feel like you are just a SAHM are a distortion of the enemy to discourage you. I felt the same way and sometimes fall into that same trap. We are JUST (as in justified) SAHMS. When you think of it this way, it takes on a whole new meaning and you realize that being a SAHM is an honor indeed! :) I know that I am encouraged by your blogs. I think I just don't tell you enough how much I appreciate them.
I have felt that same way so many times in my own walk with God...and He always reminds me that He can use me wherever I am. I don't have to "go" somewhere or have an "official" title. He uses me wherever I am, as long as I am willing. I know one day it happened while waiting in line at a Walmart. There was a newly married young woman, who was struggling with her husband's depression. I never even got her name, but she just started pouring her heart out to me....I listened to her, and I shared about what the Lord had done in my own marriage with her and I prayed for her. Since I am a stay at home mom, I wasn't in a hurry, and I had time to listen to her.
Only God could turn a shopping trip to Walmart into a blessing moment, amen?;)
I'm so thankful that you are being faithful right where God planted you. You will definitely be blessed and be a blessing to others.
God Bless,
Amy:)
I have always had a desire to be a missionary...in far off places. It seems more glorified more difficult, and more like God's work. But I had a moment too when God clearly told me my mission field was training up godly men-my sons. We have no idea how many lives we can touch just by touching one. The man who gave Billy Graham a seat the day he got saved has a part too in all the lives touched by Billy Graham. Keep on keeping on and proclaiming sister. While you are prclaiming in your part of the world many mothers are doing the same in their part. It doesn't come with the bells and whistles...but it is still God's work. Great post!
You are a sweet blessing.
I can so relate, thank you for putting it into words.
Have a blessed Word Filled Wednesday!
Kelly, I love this post! So honest about what you expected and what God was directing. I've been doing some of that lately, too. God is telling me to slow down and let him use me in smaller ways. And, maybe, just maybe, in the long run that is truly bigger and better than the "big stuff" I drummed up in my mind.
Happy WFW!
Isn't God timing ALWAYS perfect!!
What a GREAT testimony to God's faithfulness....he gave you the desire of your heart.....and he's blessing you!!
Keep pressing in Sister...he has GREAT things in store for you!!!
I think almost everyone can relate to your story. I know I can. Thank you for this wonderful reminder.
Yes, I'll bet many of us since the conference have wondered the same thing. But it's so easy for me to see how God uses you in public and in private all the time. You are blessing, sweet friend.
Keep on keeping on! Remain faithful to the Lord- He who began a good work in you WILL complete it.
I'm thankful to have found your blog. I'll definitely be back.
Blessings to you!
Sweet Kelley....just yesterday I said almost the exact same words to a lady at my Bible study. I have felt like a 'drifter' over the past few months. Plans in my head, but not knowing His purpose.
I love what Amy wrote in her comment, that God can turn a trip to Wal-Mart into a blessing. I think so often we just need to be faithful in the day-to-day and God is using us in ways we cannot see.
Funny to me how quickly we can doubt what was at one time a complete assurance. I still have the message you sent me when God showed up BIG time in providing for your trip to NC. Kelley, that WAS God speaking. Maybe His full purposes for your time at She Speaks are still yet to be revealed, but don't doubt that He spoke clearly to you when He provided in such a miraculous way. There's no doubt He wanted you there girlfriend!
So thankful for the Word He has spoken to you again. Wish I could sit in on one of your studies and rejoice in all that He is doing in your life.
Love ya,
Joy
My first visit to your blog. Very lovely. Great post and picture. Thanks for sharing your heart.
Blessings
I too am "hearing" God just in these past few weeks. I am speaking at my first women's event outside of my home church on Saturday. God's timing is perfect.
So glad you are walking with God.
I'm so reminded here that our plans for ourselves and God's plans can be different - not that they don't happen, just not in the way we expect. I think God is using you mightily, and I'm so glad to see you are walking beside Him every step of the way! Keep trusting...Happy WFW!
You seem to always move and stir my soul in ways I cant express. Your post touched me..for I too am waitting and yet I hear silence.I guess I must listen better.
Anne
Wonderful post and it truly gives me hope. We're awaiting words from God at the moment, and learning exactly what patience really is. You are inspiring. Thank you!
How typical is that? I know I sometimes expect the Lord to use me in great ways (what's great in my mind anyway) but then He uses me in very small ways. But being obedient is so important. Teaching women or children about God is very important. I was a children's leader for 7 years in BSF. Little four year olds are such fun!
Thank you for this verse.... just thank you.
Oh Kelly,
You are so precious! I love your heart, your sense of humor, and your great passion for Jesus.
Sometimes God doesn't allow us to even see what GREAT BIG things He is doing in and through us. But He's busy, don't worry about that.
One place I get to be blessed is through your blog. You'll never know who's reading this, and how much of an impact you are making.
And if it's all just for one lady out there, gosh...can you imagine?
Anyhow, just want to send a cyber hug. I just finished reading Anonymous, talk about a season of feeling alone, and not being seen or heard. But oh, what work God is doing, "behind the scenes".
Anyhow, sending much love your way!
I love the way God spoke to you. I'll remember that scripture now.
Blessings to you my sweet friend♥
Oh wow, can I relate to these feelings! What a perfect verse and a beautiful picture to go with it! Thank you for sharing your heart!
This is wonderful, Kelly.
You use written words to express what so many of us feel and either don't share or don't know how to share.
Your time and dedication to your CBS study, your children, your husband, your blog (and all the other things readers DON't know) are impacting souls -- and in GOD's timing, you are reaching people for the Kingdom. OH! ... be encouraged.
My husband told me yesterday that he sometimes thinks my blog reaches more people that his sermons. (He's a pastor!!!) Good Grief. Placing your ideal ministry into a box of "full-time-ministry" is SO LIMITING GOD's potential!
OK... I be done preaching.
:-)
Thank you for sharing your heart.
From one stay-at-homer to another:
"Our work is eternal!" Hold onto HIM.
Happy WFW!
~esthermay
That is just like the Lord! Keep up the good word and the good faith. He is using you in a mighty way!
OK...just lost my first comment. Let's see...I, too, came home from She Speaks fully expecting a book contract; not to be. I don't know if I will return next year, but am thankful for the experience.
Keep to the road, friend. Never underestimate those sacred whispers.
peace~elaine
I love your new header it's so cute.
I can relate a lot to your post!
It's so great to 'hear' God speak.
You are exactly where HE wants you to be. And I am sure that those receiving your teaching at you CBS studies are blessed beyond measure.
Bless you, Cindy
I think that is awesome the way God spoke to you. Don't forget you are impacting me and the many women out here who read your blog, so that is quite something if you ask me.
Oh Kelli - thanks for sharing your heart. Based on the previous comments, He has spoken, and He is working....right here, right now through your faithfulness.
Hi Kelly,
I stopped by yesterday but got sidetracked and didnt get a chance to comment. I really loved what you shared about "hearing" from God. I'll never forget the time I first visited Aroma of Joy and just thought, "WOW!" Your absolute heart for God, and willingness to share Him and the way you see Him in your every days... always encourages me and makes me so happy.
To God the glory
Lea
Keep standing strong, friend! Thanks for your willingness to share, you've got such a great heart. I love your blog, it is always a blessing and an encouragement to me.
Great heartfelt post.
Vickie
Oh Kellie, I have battled similar things since returning. Everytime I have been tempted to discouragement I have to remind myself of the truths stated in your comments so graciously. I actually seemingly lost ground after She Speaks. I was leading a Bible study and it fell apart with people getting too busy & what not. Our small group in our home has fizzled out too. My position in the youth group is minimal, I am an "extra".
But I have been blessed so much to be on the peripheral for this time. I love to minister one on one with people and pray over people. So other doors have opened up and I am learning to wait upon the Lord (morebetter;-))...
The Lord kept reminding me of the post He inspired me to write earlier in the year...the blessings of hiddeness. Somewhere in scripture it says "don't despise the day of small things" (talking to Zarubbabel) And I have been able to help my friend who has been called to write a book by sharing my stuff with her. Maybe I was there more for her????
God bless you for sharing your heart and for loving the "sistren" with your blog!
Kathy
Loved this my friend. Thanks for sharing this verse with me during such a tough time.
love you,
LC
Kelley,
Isn't God good to speak to us? I'm again in a place where I feel like I'm waiting in a couple of areas, and I'm also longing to hear God speak something specific to me. Thanks for your encouraging post! It reminds me to keep listening in the quiet times and not to breeze past His whispers.
Amy
This my friend is an amazing post. For it sings, yells, speaks, pulls, and grabs my heart. I am constantly standing at His feet asking..."don't you think I could...?" or "I thought it would look like this..." and He is so gentle and strong in His response to me. "Nichole I know the purpose I have for you and I know what it will look like, have faith and trust Me!"
And I kinda am getting a hint...it will be better than we can imagine...Kelly I am praying for and with you!
I think it's wonderful, too, when you really sense that the Lord has spoken directly to me. It makes me feel especially loved.
Thank you for this post!
Jennifer
http://jennifer-asag.blogspot.com/
Obviously, (since I am the 38th comment) you are impacting the world. I know you are impacting your family, too! You are such an encourager! Don't ever change!
Love you,
Angie xoxo
So awesome to hear how the Lord spoke to you. Keep seeking him girlfriend!
Love,
Nicole
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